you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
