lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My dick has a subreddit
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
