Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just google imaged poop.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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