So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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