hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
