I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
