Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
