batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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