do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
