dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize