i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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