I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
