I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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