dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
