If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
