i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize