I have demons in me.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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