ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
