Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
His nipple licking is glorious
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