I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
