hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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