i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
