I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
