Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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