now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
