best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
