Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
