I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
