Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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