i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
