She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
