Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
