But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
