what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
