what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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