Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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