If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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