They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Randomize
