I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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