Grow some girl-balls and come out already
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
