The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
