is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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