STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
