Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
