the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
