He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
