So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
