Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
