so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My vagina is officially offended.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
