if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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