we have officially lost it.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
