He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
