What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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