have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
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