yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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