thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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