I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
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