we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
