I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
