I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
