apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
