He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
