it was like his penis was on wheels.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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