i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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