we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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