Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
