Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm too high and old for this...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
